Peter Stark and the Lame Field Trip
by Cissa The Bookworm
Summary: Peter Parker (excuse me, Peter Stark) is the son of Tony Stark. It has just gotten out to the press that Tony Stark has a son, so guess who gets to go on a lame ass field trip to Stark Tower (excuse me, Avengers Tower)? Yup, that's right, Peter Stark. Throw in his crazy boyfriend (one guess on who that is), one supersoldier that likes to glare, one snarky archer, and the poor tour


" _Rumors are flying that when Tony Stark moved to New York he brought with him a high school aged son who is reportedly attending Midtown High. While there is much that suggests that Stark does indeed have a son, there is no concrete evidence and everything is left up to speculation._ " A reporter on a local New York morning show told Miss Kelly's current events class at Midtown High. " _In other Avenger-related news, Captain America was videod helping a young girl get her ca-_ "

Peter slunk down in his seat as the reporter talked about him. Yeah, he was Tony Stark's kid, and yeah, he moved to New York with his dad after the shitstorm that was the Battle of New York. His dad had allowed him to pick what school he wanted to go to and Peter had chosen Midtown because it was known as a school with a good math and science program as well as it was rather close to Avengers Tower.

He had thought that he could fly under the radar, but apparently some shark reporters had picked up on his dad having a kid. He wondered who had leaked that important bit of information and how quickly they had gotten fired. Peter mentally shrugged, that wasn't his problem and he had known for years now that eventually someone would figure out that Tony Stark had a kid.

Peter started to mentally prepare himself for that press conference. Better to start preparing now than get caught up and anxious about what he was going to say later, even if he could con his dad into doing all the talking. Like that would be hard to do anyways, his dad loved the sound of his own voice. Peter's mind drifted as his classmates talked about the supposed 'rumors.' Eventually the bell rang and he practically bolted from his seat and all but ran to his next class: science. Well it wasn't called pain ol' science, but he currently couldn't remember the correct name for it. It was Science 500 or Advanced something majig. Peter shrugged, it was science, who cares what it was called.

"Hello Peter!" The teacher, Mr. Rockwell, greeted Peter as he glided into the room.

"Hey Mr. Rockwell!" Peter smiled at the teacher, he actually liked Mr. Rockwell. "What do we have planned for today?"

"Well, I have a surprise." Peter leaned forward in anticipation and looked expectantly at Mr. Rockwell. The teacher chuckled and shook his balding head, "You'll have to wait and find out with the rest of the class!"

Peter waited impatiently as the rest of the class filed in, some riding in right as the tardy bell was ringing. Peter mentally glared at Flash while smiling happily at Gwen. "Hey." Peter commented to her.

"Peter." Gwen sent a sweet smile his way, "How are you today?"

"I'm cool." Peter gives her a shrug, "You?"

"Excellent." Gwen giggled, "Did you hear the rumors about Tony Stark having a kid?"

"I did….it's interesting." Peter replied, sounding pained.

"I know! Imagine all the incredible things they get to see everyday!" Gwen gushed, she was about to continue on her mini tirade, but Mr. Rockwell, to Peter's immense relief, called the class to attention. Peter mentally started to plan what he was putting in his teacher's fruit basket for getting him out of an awkward conversation.

"So I have a huge surprise for you guys!" Mr. Rockwell sent a blinding smile to his students, "I managed to get a tour booked for the labs at Stark Tower!" The class erupted in excited chatter, "I talked it over with the office and they have excused you all for the remainder of the morning so we can tour the labs today. Now hurry up, we have a bus waiting for us in the parking lot!"

Peter mentally facepalmed. Of course this would happen to him. Of course. And here he thought it was actually going to be a decent surprise. Guess that hope just flew out the window right along with Peter's hidden identity. Wave at it as it goes by, everyone.

Gwen chattered excitedly in Peter's ear as she dragged him along the front of the pack towards the bus. Even though Stark Tower (really it's name is now Avengers Tower, with all the Avengers shacking up in the place) was only a few blocks away, the school didn't dare send a bunch of students walking down New York's streets with only one chaperone. Rather smart, in Peter's humble opinion. With his luck, if they had walked, they would have gotten mugged or caught in some attack on New York Part Two. 'Cause that shit always happened to him. All too soon, Peter found himself standing in the too familiar lobby of Avengers Tower. Mr. Rockwell happily walked up to the receptionist desk with the class following (and with Peter sadly and silently bemoaning the fact that he was still at the front of the pack) to check the group in.

"Mr. Rockwell's Chemical Science class." Mr. Rockwell cheerily informed the receptionist, "We have a 9:30 labs tour."

The receptionist smiled at him, "All right, I have you all checked in. If you could all just put these badges on," she handed Mr. Rockwell a stack of security badges with every student's name on them as well as a clearance pass, "that would be lovely. I'm afraid that our tour guide is running a bit late this morning and won't be here for another ten minutes. If you could all-" The receptionist halted her speech as she finally spotted Peter awkwardly fidgeting, not having a class guide badge.

The receptionist raised an eyebrow and immediately understood the problem, someone must have seen Peter's name and simply forgo making the badge, figuring he already had one of his own. "If you could simply have your class wait in the reception area to the left I'll get this young man settled with a badge as we seemed to have forgotten his."

"Thank you!" Mr. Rockwell said, "That's very kind of you!"

Mr. Rockwell herded his class off to the side and settled them down in the waiting area. He quickly got to work making sure everyone else had a security badge on their person. The receptionist smiled at Peter, "The other receptionist must have forgotten to make your badge, figuring you already had one, Peter."

"It's okay Molly, things happen." Peter smiled warmly at his favorite receptionist, "So do we need to make me a matching security badge or are we going to pretend that my actual badge was just made for me?"

Molly laughs, "Pete, just wear your badge, I'm sure you have it in your backpack."

Peter smiled, dug his badge out under the guise of getting his driver's license out, and had Molly hand the badge back to him. Both neglected to notice that Peter's badge had his name listed as 'Peter Stark' instead of his alias 'Peter Parker.' Peter smiled at Molly again before clipping his badge onto his jean pocket and slipping back over to his class.

A few minutes later the tour guide arrived and greeted Mr. Rockwell. "Hi, Mr. Rockwell and Chemistry Science. My name is Emile and I'll be giving your tour this morning. If you will all follow me and have your badges ready we will go on up to Research Lab One." Peter, still forcibly in the front of the group by an eager Gwen, caught the eye of Emile. Emile raised a delicate eyebrow in obvious amusement. Peter simply rolled his eyes, causing her to have to quickly hide her grin.

Ignoring Peter for the most part, Emile led a bored Peter and an excited class through the first five research labs, everyone gaining entrance by a simple badge scan, nothing terribly fancy. All but one person thankfully ignored Peter's true identity while he was on the tour. The one over eager scientist had caught Peter's eye and was about to summon him over when he noticed one of the older scientists quickly making death threats with their eyes in his direction. The scientist mouthed a heartfelt 'sorry' in Peter's direction when the rest of the class wasn't looking.

Lab Six held the building's arc reactor, and while it was open to tours, the security was a bit tighter for it and Emile told the class as much. Peter had accidentally lagged behind too long, getting caught up talking to the scientists about what he had wanted Peter to take a quick glance over some of his work. Peter didn't notice when the class entered into the more secure lab, which required a higher security badge that spoke your name ("Emile Johnson; Clearance Level Omega") and clearance level on both sides of the lab door as it either let you in or denied you access. Emile had the clearance level, but the students would not as they had the most basic visitor passes and would be automatically denied access if they were to scan their cards. The class was told as much and Mr. Rockwell sighed as he noticed Peter's absence.

Before Mr. Rockwell could mention to Emile that he needed to go find one of his students, the door beeped and announced, "Peter Stark; Clearance Level: Alpha."

The class stared in shock as Peter casually entered the lab, texting someone with an annoyed expression on his face. Peter looked up as he noticed no one was speaking. "Sorry, I got distracted by something in Research Lab Five."

Emile sighed at Peter's cluelessness. "Do you know what you just did, Peter?"

"Uh...Enter into Lab Six which holds the- Aw crud." Peter winced, "Entered into a lab that I should not technically have access to."

"You're hopeless." Emile scolded Peter.

"I'm sorry!" Peter tried to defend himself, "But Dad's complaining at me because Pepper's decided that we're holding a press conference tomorrow about me. _And_ he's trying to weasel out of it by saying he has Avengers paperwork which is _ridiculous_ because I know he finished it up last night! And now Pepper is complaining at me because Dad is being difficult." Peter angrily stabbed at his phone, typing out a message. Peter growled at his phone, "Sorry I'm going to miss the rest of your incredible tour of the SI labs, but Pep is requesting my help in averting a crisis."

Emile smiled, "Oh yes, I'm sure you were getting _so_ much out of this tour."

Peter shrugged, "I didn't know that Dad won that one award for his work in Lab Two. Though to be fair, I don't think Dad knows he won that award." Peter moved over to a smaller access elevator and pushed the up button. "Where are you guys going after this?"

"Lab Ten. I'll text you if we move on from that before you get done helping Ms. Potts." Emile replied.

Peter smiled at her, "Thanks Emile!" Peter stepped into the elevator after scanning his access card and his classmates could see him easily scanning his card once more and typing in a code before the doors closed and the elevator whisked Peter up higher in the building.

"What the hell?" One Peter's classmates said.

"Language." Emile chided as she started to talk about publicly allowed arc reactor knowledge. "Now if you follow me we'll head up to Lab Ten. It is my personal favorite as it holds-" Emile trails off as she realizes that the students had once again fallen into gossiping about Peter. "Really." She sighs, "I'm sure Peter will be back soon and you can ask him questions then. Or you can wait for tomorrow's press conference."

The students continued to talk over what Emile said. An apologetic Mr. Rockwell tried to tame his class as he and Emile ushered them into an oversized elevator. "I am so sorry for my students." He apologized.

Emile sighed once more, "It's fine, not like either of us planned for this to happen."

Gwen pushed her way over to Emile, "Hi, I'm Gwen Stacey, I'm Peter's-"

"Best friend." Emile smiles, "He talks about you all the time. If he didn't already have a boyfriend I would have thought he was in love with you."

Gwen smirked, "Is that so? All the time?"

Emile delightedly laughs, "Just enough to make his boyfriend question his level of attraction to you."

Gwen deflates, "I didn't know that Pete had a boyfriend. He never tells me the important things."

Emile makes a sympathetic noise, "He's probably just used to keeping things under wraps, his father who he is."

"I understand."

Emile pats Gwen's back comfortingly, pulling away as the elevator opens on the floor to Lab Ten. Emile and Mr. Rockwell somehow wrangle his class into the lab and quiet them down enough for Emile to start talking about what was in the lab. A few minutes into her spiel, Tony Stark and his son walk into the lab, bickering about something.

"Kid, I'm tellin' you, it's not gonna work."

"And I'm telling you that it will!" Peter argues back.

"Uh huh, and which one of us has a PHd in this field?" Tony asks.

Peter rolls his eyes, "And which one of us isn't a complete jackass?" Peter sasses.

"Hey!" Tony looks offended, "I'm not a jackass _all_ the time!"

"Oh that's right, I'm sorry, just part of the time."

"Don't make me ground you, young man." Tony mock threatens.

"Please, like J would let you lock me in my room."

"That's because Jarvis is a little traitor who doesn't know who created him!"

"I am programed to do all I can to keep you healthy and Peter's happiness is one of those things." Jarvis replies.

"See, J loves me." Peter sasses.

Tony grumbles at his son, "Shut up."

Peter smiles sweetly at his father as he approaches one of the machines and starts to fiddle with it. "This coding sucks."

Emile cuts off Tony's reply as she smoothly says, "Is Ms. Potts aware you're here, Mr. Stark?"

Tony scowls, "If you value your job she won't ."

Emile laughs, "And what? Have another tour guide be trained to your standards?"

"Touche." Tony mutters.

Peter finishes re-coding a portion of the machine's transmitter coding and mumbles, "Seriously who coded this shit?"

"Some techie from lab seven I think." Tony replies, "Interns, ya know."

"You need to find better interns." Peter grumbles, "There, I just increased the power capacity by twelve percent."

"Twelve percent specifically?" Tony grumbles.

Peter smirks, "Of course, I couldn't give you more than you deserve."

"Pepper put you up to this."

"What gave you that idea, Dad?" Peter gives his father a shit-eating grin.

"Twerp." Tony says fondly as he rumples his son's hair.

Before Peter's class could start interrogating their classmate, a man in a red and black spandex suit drops down from the ceiling. "WILSON!" Tony screeches, "What have I told you about sneaking into my goddamn tower?"

The man scoffs, "Please, you'd miss my beautiful face!" He then turns to Peter and asks, "And how is my gorgeous honeymuffin today?"

Peter laughs, "If he kills you, I'm not going to feel sorry."

"Awww, but you'd miss me."

"You'd just come back in an hour, Wade, I don't know what you're being dramatic about."

"Baby boy!" Wade whines, "You know you'd miss my charming self during that hour!"

"Get the hell outta my tower, or so help me-" Tony tries to threaten.

"Dude, is that Deadpool?" One of Peter's male classmates blurts out.

"That's fucking Deadpool! He kills people for money!" Another male classmate enthuses.

"Language." Emile chides.

"I should really introduce you to Cap. He's all about monitoring language." Tony mutters to himself.

One of Peter's female classmates asks, "'Gorgeous honeymuffin'? Peter, are you dating _Deadpool_?"

Peter blushes as Wade descends down far enough to pull up his mask and smack a large, wet kiss to Peter's mouth before escaping with a hollered, "See ya tonight baby boy! Love ya!"

Tony turns his glare on his son, "You're not going out with that menace!"

Peter's blush of embarrassment turns into a flush of anger, "You can't stop me from seeing him! He hasn't killed anyone for four months!"

"And when he decides the money is better than dating?" Tony challenges, "What happens when he decides he doesn't care enough anymore and he can have all the money and flings he wants?"

Peter clinches his jaw, "You've never even given Wade a chance!"

"Because he's no good for you!"

"And how do you know what's good for me? You may be my father but you can't keep controlling me my entire life! I'm old enough to make my own decisions and I've decided that I'm dating Wade and so be it if he breaks my heart because it was my decision." Peter glares steadily at his father.

Tony sighs, "I just don't want you getting hurt, kid."

"Dad I know that." Peter smiles, "But you know that Wade is getting better. Four months is his best record yet and he's almost made it to five. He's got a steady employment helping train new recruits. Please just give him a chance."

Tony pulls his son in for a hug, "I guess if Wilson hasn't killed anyone for almost five months…"

"You'll give him a chance?" Peter's voice instantly brightens.

"Against my better judgement I'm giving the menace a chance. Don't make me regret this, kid."

Peter smiles happily. "Thanks Dad, you don't know how much this means."

Wade pops back in, "I KNEW YOU LOVED ME!" He screeches from his ceiling position.

"WILSON GET OUT OF MY LABS BEFORE YOU BREAK SOMETHING!" Tony screams back at Peter's accident prone boyfriend, sending Peter into a fit of giggles. Peter's classmates look on at the scene in mute horror, wondering how this ordeal was going to play out and if anyone was going to die. Secretly, some of the male students wouldn't mind seeing Deadpool and Iron Man duke it out and they muttered that to each other, causing a few girls to glare at them.

Wade, oblivious to Tony's glare, drops back down to the floor and smugly drapes a casual arm around Peter. Peter calms his giggling, pressing his face into Wade's side for a brief moment. "I'm still not going to feel sorry if he kills you." Peter mumbles into Wade's side, making Wade's smirk grow even wider, prominent even under the mask.

Tony fumes, glaring at the arm that puts his son and Wade into contact with each other. "How the hell do you keep getting into my building?"

Wade shrugs, "It's a gift. No, shut up Yellow, we're not telling him that."

Tony looks murderous, "Wilson…"

"Chill Dad, I may or may not have used one of J's override codes." Peter tries to cool his father's jets before he decides he wants to murder his boyfriend, healing factor or not.

Tony sputters, "I gave you those codes to use in dire situations. This is not a dire situation, kid!"

"It is when I haven't seen my boyfriend for two weeks because you lock him out or lock me in." Peter glares and adds, "Pepper likes Wade."

Wade nods happily, "I saved her from a wayward mugger!"

Before Tony has time to respond, Wade's phone starts singing "Dancing Queen", which he happily answers with an annoying, "'Yello? You're speaking with Sexy Muthafucka!"

Peter rolls his eyes as he hears Emile's muttered "Language."

"Of course, be right there, Eyepatch!" Wade hangs up the phone before the person on the other side has time to reply, "Nick Furious wants me ASAP so I'm gonna go get me some tacos and be about ten minutes late." Wade seriously explains to Peter, "Can't keep the big man waiting."

"Or you could just be on time?" Peter says.

Wade raises an eyebrow, "I'm already not unaliving people Petey, don't expect me to become all adultish and stuff. Anyways, Daddy's got some tacos to eat. See ya later, bubble butt!" Wade smacks one more kiss on Peter's forehead before disappearing through the ceiling.

Peter rolls his eyes at his boyfriend's antics, "He's trying." Peter defends to his father, "Don't give me that look. Even Steve acknowledged how hard Wade was trying."

Tony sighs, "I guess I have to trust ya, kid."

"And this is one of Wade's good days."

"I'd like to see a bad day…" Tony looks done with his son's boyfriend as he fiddles with something he grabbed off of one of the lab tables.

Before one of the Stark men could interrupt her tour with anymore nonsense, Emile quickly states, "So onto the last lab for today's tour…."

"It's the most boring lab, I'm tellin' ya." Tony mulishly mutters as he follows like the not quite duckling he is.

"Well no one's asking you to come along." Emile snappishly replies.

"Testy." Tony rolls his eyes, "Since that's a lame lab, how about you bring 'em to see a test flight of the latest mark of Iron Man."

"Mr. Stark, I really insist that we stay to the schedule as much as-"

"Aw, c'mon, I'm sure they've seen all the labs that they really need to and now you're just filling in time with random labs." Tony scolds, "Besides, don't call me _Mr. Stark_ , it makes me feel old."

Peter nods, "It really does make him feel old."

Tony gestures towards Peter as if saying 'see even the kid backs me up.' Emile sighs, "Alright, Mr. Stark, that would be acceptable _only_ if Mr. Rockwell agrees."

The class all turn pleading eyes upon their teacher who simply shrugs and simply says, "Well, why not?" The class cheers and eagerly followed Tony as he leads them to the industrial sized elevator, whisking them to the roof of the tower. Once they get there, they find Clint messing with his bow, trying to get his upper cam to straighten out and stop being wonky.

"Hey Pete!" Clint calls, unaware of the other people on the roof, "Why aren't you in school, squirt?"

"You see, I'm on this _lame_ field trip to Stark Tower to see the research labs." Peter starts to explain, grinning when he gets his dad to squawk indignantly.

Clint turns around and takes a long look at the class, "Ah, gotcha. Yeah I'd be disappointed too if I had to tour my own home for a 'field trip.'"

Peter nods regretfully, "Yeah, and then your own father busts in all lame-like and tries to take over the tour."

"Truly pathetic." Clint agrees, smirking at the expression on Tony's face.

"I could send you back to SHIELD. I don't have to house you." Tony mutters.

"What was that, Iron Dude? I couldn't quite hear you." Clint mocks.

Tony pouts, "Shut up, Katniss."

Clint laughs, "Yeah, whatever. See ya later loser. Don't forget we have sparring after school today, Pete. Nat will honest to god kill me if I forget to do that while she's away."

"'Cause she's a scary lady. Like mega respect, but super scary." Peter nods sagely.

Clint nods his agreement, "Yup. Wanna do archery too?"

Peter shrugs, "Only if you make Steve join us because that's hella hilarious."

"Language." Emile mutters just under her breath.

Clint snorts, completely ignoring the interruption. "Oh yeah, you got it, squirt. Just pout at him and he'll cave like wet tissue paper."

"It's a gift." Peter smirks, "If I have to suffer, then so does he since he's the one making me train with you crazies."

Clint outright laughs at that while Tony waves for Clint to leave, "Go away birdbrain, I have a new mark of Iron Man to show off. And I don't want to hear about your fetishes." Clint flips Tony the bird before stalking away towards the elevator. "He's a bad influence on you." Tony mutters.

"Dad, he's no worse than you. You were letting me blow things up in your lab when I was six."

"Yeah well Howard was letting me blow things up in the lab when I was four so I'm obviously the superior father." Tony mumbles as he calls for Jarvis to send the Iron Man suit up.

Peter rolls his eyes, "Obviously."

"Don't sass me young man or I'll take away your lab rights."

"Betcha I could get Pepper to give them right back." Peter taunted.

"Don't test me." Tony said without heat, smiling fondly at his son. "I really need to rethink this parenting thing if all you give me is sass."

Peter grinned, "Well, I _did_ learn it from the best." Off to the side, Gwen snickered and mentally gave Peter a few more points.

"That's it!" Tony jokingly pointed a finger in the air, "All of your lab rights are taken away!"

"Effective never!" Peter's finger joined Tony's in the air.

"Yeah, effective never." Tony laughed as the Iron Man armor settled on the roof next to him. Before he could climb in, Steve burst out of the roof access door, shouting at Tony.

"What are you doing?" Steve glared at Tony.

Tony raised an eyebrow, skeptic, "I'm showing off my new mark of Iron Man?"

"Is that a question or answer?" Steve huffed.

Tony rolled his eyes, "An answer, Capsicle."

"No." Steve firmly stated, "I'm under strict orders from Fury that you don't do anything of the kind."

"That's no fun." Peter complained, his classmates echoing his sentiments, despite being in awe of seeing Captain America in person.

"Peter, what are you doing at home? Shouldn't you be in school?"

"I'm on a class field trip."

Steve's eyebrow raised again, "A field trip?" He deadpanned.

"Yup!" Peter points towards Emile, his teacher, and classmates.

Steve sighed, "Tony, no."

"Dad, yes!" Peter crowed, not withering under Steve's growing glare.

"Tony." Steve growled.

"Yes, light of my life?" Tony annoyingly chirped.

Steve stared down the class for a few seconds, causing them all to squirm in discomfort. Finally coming to a decision, Steve sighed once more and simply walked over to the elevator, "You're a grown ass man Stark, I'm done giving a damn what you do." The doors promptly shut after he said the last word.

"Well, thank you." Tony shrugged towards the closed elevator doors. The class eagerly moved closer to the Iron Man armor as Tony got inside and the suit closed around the man. "Here goes!" He cried as he took off, spinning and doing a few loop-de-loops for the class. After a few more minutes of showing off, Tony finally came back to the rooftop. "And that's all folks." Peter snorted at the stupid Looney Tunes reference.

After much griping and complaining, the class shuffled back towards the elevator and to the lobby. "Thank you so much, Miss Emile and Mr. Stark ("Don't call me Mr. Stark." Tony mumbled) for this tour! It was excellent! Now, it is time that our class must be getting back to Midtown for lunch and the rest of the school day." Mr. Rockwell says enthusiastically.

"It was a pleasure." Emile smiles before shaking Mr. Rockwell's hand and walking off.

Tony shrugs, "It was fun ruining your lame field trip, Pete."

Peter grins, "Yeah, whatever Dad."

Tony ruffles Peter's hair, calling "See ya later, kid!" as he walks away.

Gwen attaches herself to Peter's side and started to vigorously grill him, the rest of the class eagerly listening as the group heads back to the bus for the short ride to Midtown High. Peter sighs, but allows the questioning. Even actually answering truthfully….well, most of the time anyway. No one really needs to know what his and Wade's sex life was like. Not saying that it was active, but if he was saying it was active, then he'd said it was fucking awesome. And it sucks that they all can't have amazing boyfriends like Peter has. So, it sucks to be them cause his life was pretty amazing.

Even if he did have to deal with that stupid press release tomorrow.


End file.
